handicapped parenting

Do you want to know what one of my biggest struggles is as a parent?   

Having fun. 

I know it sounds weird, but I’ve never been good at playing with my kids.  I guess it’s my personality –very driven.  I like to accomplish things.   

I don’t like to play games.  Don’t really enjoy doing stuff outside –would rather read a book in the house.  Not very playful or creative. 

Handicapped.   

I watch other moms be fun and think, Why am I not like them? 

I feel like I’m missing something. 

Yet here is my 18-year-old and my 15-year-old who have turned out good.  Kind, intelligent, loving kids.  Did I not ruin them with what I lacked as a mom? 

Sometimes all I see is my deficit, and I forget the things I did well. 

I read a kajillion books and hugged often.  Always tucked them in with a prayer.  Talked about God all day long.  Answered their questions.  Went to every game and performance.  Spoke words of love and affirmation.  

Dear moms, grab your cup of coffee and lean in across the table from me. 

I know.   

I know you’re handicapped.  I know there’s something you think you should be as a parent but you’re not, and you’re worried it’s going to ruin your kids.   

It’s not.  

Somehow love is a prosthesis that makes us a whole parent.  Love your kids with all your heart, and they’ll find grace for what you’re lacking.  

Mine have.  They seem to think I’m a good mom despite my limp.  

“And now these three remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”  (1 Corinthians 13:13  NIV)