Monday, April 16, 2012

on the edge of living

We live just a half an hour from a ski resort, and my husband often talked about how he wished our whole family could go skiing together.  I would remind him my only skill is reading books.  No one ever injures himself when reading a book.  I would shake my head and say no way, not me. 

But one December I had a brave moment and decided I would learn how to ski as a Christmas present to him.  I talked my cousin’s wife into giving me ski lessons, and we secretly loaded up on a week day and drove up the mountain.  I filled with fear as we drove higher, and all my bravado dissipated.  I came close, so close, to turning around and going home. 

Pulling up some courage, I kept going.  Made it through the ski rental process without passing out.  Shuffled my way from the rental house to the top of the bunny slope (which is much, much steeper than everyone makes it out to be).  And there I fought a battle with terror.  The tips of my skiis edged out over the slope, and I got to the place where one more scoot would have me sliding down hill to my certain death.  Death, I tell you. 

It’s quite a conversation you have with yourself before you decide to go for it.   

That’s where I am today.  Life edged out over a slope.  Because I know there’s something God wants me to do, and my bravado in wanting to obey him has brought me to a place where now I just have to make a decision to act.  The time for talk is over.  I’m scared to death. 

Scared to turn around and stay the same.  Scared to push forward and do something new and scary.  I heard Francis Chan say that being a disciple of Christ is not for cowards.  This is true. 

I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.”  (Psalm 119:60  NIV)   

I will. 

I made it to the bottom of the hill that day.  Alive.  Many Saturdays of wonderful family skiing followed my courageous tip of the skiis. 

What command has God put in front of you that makes your stomach come up in your throat?  Will you do it?

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