Friday, February 10, 2012

self control: failure -again

Ask me about healthy eating or working out.  Ask me about budgeting or financial goals or spiritual disciplines or relationship health.  But PLEASE don’t ask me about promptness. 

There it is, that one huge beast of a bad habit that I can’t seem to control.  I was late to my dentist appointment today -again.  There stood the hygienist waiting for me.  It was only five minutes, but it was five minutes that belonged to her day, to her schedule.  It pains me to write this down and let you see it all out loud on paper.  Late to meetings.  Late to lunch dates.  Late for my own funeral probably. 

I only have courage to write this because I know you have one.  One thing that, to save your life you just cannot seem to manage.  Try.  Fail.  Determine not to fail again.  Try.  Fail. 

Why is it that we can see the problem and even know how easy it would be to fix, but we just can’t seem to do it?  Really, how hard would it be for me to leave the house 10 minutes earlier than normal to get somewhere?  How hard to leave 15 minutes sooner and **GASP** be early to something.  Not rocket science.  Yet I find myself constantly apologizing and being ashamed over the same tardiness.

Jesus says the answer, but I don’t like it.  You’re not gonna like it.  “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”  (Matthew 5:30). 

Of course, I’m quite confident that tardiness is not going to land me in hell, but Jesus’ point still fits.  If something keeps pulling me down, I need to do something drastic to put a halt to it.  Something really drastic –like confessing my weakness in front of all of you.

How ashamed and totally disgusted with ourselves do we have to get before we’ll finally take a drastic measure to make a change? 

Uh.  I’m there today.  God help me, I’m starting a new boot camp (see my previous blog on boot camps from January 1).  No tardiness in February.  (She said with her game face on.)  Would somebody please hold me accountable to this? 

What’s that “one thing” for you?


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  2. Ah...if only there was only "one thing"...