just when you think you've got it all together

I had an 8:00 class in college.  I would crack open the bathroom door to shed a tiny bit of light into the dorm room so I could get dressed without waking my roommate.  Because I’m slightly OCD about certain things, I’ve always arranged my socks by color in the drawer, so I thought I was doing okay in dressing myself. 

Until I got into the full light of class and looked down, to see that I was wearing two completely different colored socks, neither of which went with my outfit. 

That’s how I feel about loving God and loving people.  Sometimes when I’m sitting at home with my Bible open I pretty much feel like I’ve got my act together.  I really do love God, and I really do love people. 

Then, I leave my house and interact with people -and realize I’m not looking as good as I thought I did when I got dressed in the dark.  Seems there’s still a lot of selfishness and impatience and lack of diplomacy lurking around in my heart. 

I found a great truth once, in a devotional prayer booklet written for one of the Olympics.  I cut out the words and pasted them in my journal.  It said our public life shows us what we need to deal with in our private time with God.  And our private time with God shows us what we need to work on in our public life.     

“Jesus replied:  ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  (Matthew 22:37-38) 

I’m sorry for the times when I get a look at myself in public and realize my love for people is smaller than I had hoped it would be.  I obviously need to double-check this in private.