Monday, March 5, 2012

my personal story of finding God

When I was in high school I felt far from God.  I had chosen to follow him when I was young, but as I walked away from my baptism in a cold Wyoming river at the age of 8, I remember thinking, “This is it?”  I felt deeply disappointed that I didn’t have a profound internal experience. 

Almost a decade later I sat in a high school science class, glazing over at a lecture on cell division.  It was my own soul that was divided, partly committed to following God and partly doubting if he was even real. 

“Lord, if you’re real I want to know it –to really feel it deep inside.”  A desperate prayer that changed everything. 

The following summer I went to church camp and took an afternoon class about how to have a “quiet time”.  As I sat on the grass in a beautiful garden, I learned how to pray and read my Bible and spend time with God. 

When I got home from camp I tried it -spending time with God.  Boring drudgery!  I pushed through my first attempt that seemed to last forever and was shocked to see only a few minutes of time had passed. 

Day after day of drudgery.  Praying to someone who didn’t seem real. 

But something was happening.  Slowly I got to know God.  Sometimes I would read the Bible and it would seem personal –really personal.  Sometimes I would pray about something specific and would get an answer to my prayer.  Amazing.  I began to experience God interacting with my life. 

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  (Jeremiah 29:13) 

I hadn’t realized he had been waiting for me to spend time with him.   

Now every waking moment is a quiet time, and I’ve never been so confident that God is real.

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