my midlife crisis

closet

dresser

bathroom

These are the words on signs in her room at the nursing home, because she forgets these things.

I stare at the sign that says “bathroom”, and I wonder how long my time of thinking clearly and remembering will last. 

I plug in the electric piano that I’ve wheeled into her room and begin to play songs written many decades ago.  Ain’t She Sweet.  Tea for Two.  Charleston. 

Memory Lane. 

“What a beautiful sound your piano has” she says.

“Thank you.  I think it’s pretty, too.”

“Did you have to push the piano up the stairs?” she says.

“No, just down the hall here at the nursing home.”

“What a beautiful sound your piano has” she says.

“Yes, I think it has a beautiful sound, too.”

“Was it hard to push the piano up the stairs?” she says.

For 30 minutes we have this same conversation over and over and over while I play for her.

Ephesians 5:16 says, “…making the most of your time, because the days are evil.” 

As I leave the nursing home, I feel a sense of urgency to work hard and do everything God wants me to do right now, because I don’t know when this rich time of being well and mentally alive will last.  Until the day before I need a sign that says “bathroom” and a sign that says “closet” and a sign that says “dresser”, I hope I hope to make the most of time, to love God with all of my mind and all of my strength and to love people.