self control: friendships

It was a seemingly impossible friendship that led to years of conflict.  She wanted more of my space, and I wanted more of my space.  We would enjoy each other’s company and then have a skirmish, each wishing to erase the other from her life. 

In Little Women Amy drops her school slate, and the melting snow washes away the chalk math sums.  I think sometimes we wish we could make a difficult relationship go away that easily.

Proverbs 3:3 says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you… write them on the tablet of your heart.”

At God’s stern prompting I pull out the tablet.

“Get a Sharpie” he says.

“But Lord, permanent ink?”

“Yes, permanent.  Write her name.”

So I mechanically write her name on the tablet of my heart, holding on tight to love and faithfulness out of sheer obedience to God.  But as I write, something happens in my heart.  I begin to see the beauty of who she is.  The bitterness and frustration fall away, and in their place I begin to feel love, and I begin to want faithfulness.  She is a treasure. 

I look down at the tablet, and I see that the name I wrote as a dutiful scribble God has turned into a sweeping calligraphy.

So I keep learning how to be her friend and keep moving toward her and keep loving.  And as she has worked to do the same with me, God is bringing a slow but steady healing to our friendship.

When keeping someone close gets challenging, we must control the urge to erase the person from the heart.  Love and faithfulness stay.