Look better.

I most love to be with people who look into my soul.  When they interact with me their eyes and body language and questions probe deeply to who I really am. 

I paused in my Bible reading recently when I saw that Moses and Aaron were praying and said, “O God, God of the spirits of all mankind…”  (Numbers 16:22  NIV) 

God’s eyes and body language and questions probe deeply into the spirit of a man. 

Samuel says, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  (1 Samuel 16:7  NIV) 

God would never run errands and casually pass people by without looking them in the eye.  He would never say “thank you” to a grocery store carryout or to a bank teller without giving thought to the condition of that person’s spirit.  Would God ever once allow himself to be superficial with people? 

What I wouldn’t give to be described as “Christy of the spirits of mankind”.   

I practiced this yesterday when I was sitting at a stoplight.  I looked at individual people in their cars and put some energy into wondering what was going on in their spirits.  Forcing myself to see them. 

God of the spirits.  God of the spirits.  God of the spirits.  This is my new mantra for when I’m mingling with mankind, to train my mind to see people the way God does. 

Do you look at hearts?

running on E

Our friends came in bragging last night because their new hybrid Prius registered 67 miles to the gallon on the way to our house.  Gloating unabashedly. 

Of course, they were parked right next to our friend’s suburban as they said this. 

I’ve being thinking the last few days about the fuel efficiency of people.  It’s astounding the amount of encouragement we require.  We’re guzzlers.  I feel like I can barely make it a day if somebody doesn’t give me some kind word. 

“Encourage one another and build each other up…” 

1 Thessalonians 5:11

the ingredient for peace

A while ago I tried a new soup recipe –cream of broccoli –and made the foolish mistake of putting it on the table without tasting it first.  We all took our first bites and then immediately looked at each other with the same face. 

Needs salt! 

Jesus commands his disciples, “Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” (Mark 9:50) 

Relationships without salt are…missing something.   

Isn’t that what we say when we put in our mouths a bite of food that lacks salt?  This is missing something.  And we squinch up our eyes in thought, trying to put our finger on what it needs. 

Jesus tells his disciples “You are the salt of the earth.”  (Matthew 5:13) 

I have a relationship with a sister in Christ that I keep hoping will get better.  Like sitting at the table staring at a bowl of soup, hoping the next bite I take will taste better than the first. 

Have salt. 

Be salt. 

And be at peace with each other. 

I was doing dishes, and God was talking hard to me about what I need to do to make things more peaceful with this friend.  I have to admit it made me slightly grumpy to have God put responsibility on me. 

I need to make the effort.  I need to put in the energy.  I need to pursue peace. 

I am the salt. 

Are you in a relationship with a brother or sister in Christ that seems to be missing something?  You have what it needs.  Be salt. 

what the water heat taught me about love

The water runs stone cold from the faucet.  My daughter can’t fill the bathtub.  I can’t do the dishes.  (A disappointment for one –a cause of celebration for the other.)

Matt says, I bet the pilot light is out.

He’s laying down on the cement by the hot water heater.  Yup.  The pilot’s out. 

He tells me to go try turning on the gas stove. 

It works! I yell, and he says the gas supply isn’t the problem, then. 

So I bring the matches, and he follows the steps to light the pilot.  Soon we hear the crackling sound of water heating. 

I ask why the hot water heater would be working fine for months and then all of a sudden the pilot light would go out.  He tells me sometimes there’s a strong backdraft of air that puts it out. 

This morning I woke up and wondered why in the world my heart has felt so…nothing…for people this week. I got down on my knees and asked God to strike a match to my heart. There’s nothing wrong with the source of love. I just need the flame. I can’t maintain the heat of love by myself.

“We know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”  (1 John 4:16) 

Has your love toward someone grown stone cold? Has some backdraft of annoyance or hurtful words or failure to keep a promise swept in and put out the flame?  Get down low on your knees and check the pilot light.

just when you think you've got it all together

I had an 8:00 class in college.  I would crack open the bathroom door to shed a tiny bit of light into the dorm room so I could get dressed without waking my roommate.  Because I’m slightly OCD about certain things, I’ve always arranged my socks by color in the drawer, so I thought I was doing okay in dressing myself. 

Until I got into the full light of class and looked down, to see that I was wearing two completely different colored socks, neither of which went with my outfit. 

That’s how I feel about loving God and loving people.  Sometimes when I’m sitting at home with my Bible open I pretty much feel like I’ve got my act together.  I really do love God, and I really do love people. 

Then, I leave my house and interact with people -and realize I’m not looking as good as I thought I did when I got dressed in the dark.  Seems there’s still a lot of selfishness and impatience and lack of diplomacy lurking around in my heart. 

I found a great truth once, in a devotional prayer booklet written for one of the Olympics.  I cut out the words and pasted them in my journal.  It said our public life shows us what we need to deal with in our private time with God.  And our private time with God shows us what we need to work on in our public life.     

“Jesus replied:  ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  (Matthew 22:37-38) 

I’m sorry for the times when I get a look at myself in public and realize my love for people is smaller than I had hoped it would be.  I obviously need to double-check this in private. 

one day when I was a jerk

Several months ago I spent the afternoon doing personal finances.  It was bad.  You know –lotsa bills and not lotsa money.  It left me feeling stressed and on the edge.  Anxious.  Barely holding in tears. 

And that’s how I walked into the meeting.  A donkey on the edge, if you will.

My pastor friend who leads the meeting said, “Hey team, let’s go pray in the sanctuary.”  And I said, “but I brought dinner and it will get cold.”  (Great pastor’s wife I am –more worried about the food than the prayer.)  And he insisted we start with prayer and that it would just take a few minutes.   

I lost it. 

Wow, that really set a great tone for the evening.   

Here’s the only thing I know.  I acted like a childish, emotional, out-of-control woman toward my friend, but he forgave me.   

I don’t think you really know if someone is your friend until you’ve been a total jerk to him and he still wants to hang out with you. 

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”  Proverbs 17:17

do you love people like this?

Honey, there’s something on your leg. 

It was a tic. 

On a beautiful spring day, we set out with friends for a casual walk along a railroad grade.   

When I got up closer to him I saw it was tics.  Plural.  Lots of tics.  All over our legs.  We looked down, and they were like ants on the ground.  I’ve never seen anything like it. 

After fiercely swatting them off our legs, we all ran. 

I don’t run, but I did on that day.  Hard and fast.  More than a little determined to get to new ground that was not crawling. 

Love.  Preacher husband says from the pulpit that it’s a full-on run.  “Above all, love each other deeply.” (1 Peter 4:8).  The kind of love that exerts itself, like a horse in full gallop, stretched out. 

Running toward love like I ran toward tic-free ground.  Desperate and highly motivated.  Giving no thought to side-ache and burning calves.  Refusing to stop. 

A few weeks ago someone hurt my feelings -said something caustic.  I felt myself pulling back from her in anger.  But then I remembered that love moves to.  No, love runs to.  I exerted myself all week –forgiving, loving, trying to understand.

Who do you need to run toward with love?  You wouldn’t just stand there in a field of tics would you?  Move. 

source

I was so immature when we first got married.  Not really, really super mature like I am now.

(Are you still reading?)

After three years into marriage, Matt finished grad school, and we moved to Kalispell, Montana to live with his mom.  It was a good arrangement.  She was very lonely after the death of my father-in-law to cancer, and we had a brand new baby girl and were penniless.

I think back to those days and have decided my mother-in-law is a SAINT.  I was lazy and undisciplined in every way.  Selfish and outspoken.  We got along great, but I know there were times when I had to have made her nuts.  She was kind and gracious always, but I think I probably made her work at it.  Like when I decided to do a deep clean in her kitchen without even asking her, and she came home from work every day for a week to a pile of stuff I wanted her to go through.  Who does stuff like that?  Thoughtless.  (Sorry, mom!)

Genesis 26:34-34 says, “When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite.  They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah.”

The word source can be followed by any word.  Source of strength.  Source of water.  Source of pride.  Source of pain.  What are we a source of to our families?